Oh, Britney

So, like countless other

People, I tuned into the MTV VMA Awards last night to witness the inevitable trainwreck that I was certain would be the “comeback” performance of Britney Spears. While I really and truly was rooting for her to knock all of us out with a kick-ass, old-school Britney showstopper (think her smokin’ HOT 2000 “Oops I did it Again” in the flesh-colored sparkly bodystocking number), my hopes weren’t high. Her recent track record of head shaving, cooter-bearing, hard-partying, worst-Mom-ever antics – coupled with reports that she was out until 3 a.m. the eve before her performance – didn’t bode well for a “she’s back, bitches!”, you know? Still, however, I had some hope that my fellow Southern mama would show up and dazzle everyone. ‘Cause, after all, she still is Britney, and she feasibly could, right?

Of course, as nearly every media outlet is reporting today, Miss Brit crashed and burned. I mean, she just flat-out SUCKED. SO hard-core. She looked kinda flabby (I mean, I would kill to look that “flabby”, but when it’s your job – especially when staging a comeback – to show up looking amazing, you freaking need to look like a Goddess), her dancing was uninspired and lackluster, her

hair looked like she just came out of the shower and let it air-dry, she only even tried to “sing” through half the performance, one of her fake nails was missing….oh God, it was just DREADFUL. It was like watching so many of the other recent events of her life in which you were just like, “Dude, this is so not good….this is gonna be so bad (her marriage to K-Fed, either of her pregnancies, you get it). Just terrible.

Though not surprised, I am a little shocked. I mean, who goes through all of the exercises of publicizing a comeback, hiring a huge-name manager and agreeing to open the VMAs in Vegas, and then proceeds to come out with that? I really am baffled. I mean, at this point, we all are somewhat used to – or even expect – Britney to do a bunch of really stupid crap, but this was really, really stupid, and deliberately associated with her career (unlike the marriage, pregnancies, etc.). I’m having difficulty putting into words just how I feel about it, but thankfully, blogger Perez Hilton has managed to say exactly what I am feeling.

My best friend Jessica, who along with me has viewed and analyzed last night’s and past performances with painstaking attention to detail, seems to think that a Britney comeback is still possible, yet unlikely, considering the total and complete mess she is. Sadly, I think I have to agree. Do you?

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